My therapist told me I really need to get things off my chest, especially things that royally stick in my craw, and it is all related to how I'm treated by some members of this community.
One thing that causes me a hell of a lot of anger and resentment is that even when I am healed and able to do things again I am unwelcome to participate in any Bay Area Horror events. The reason for this was because in 2011 I had been promised a table at a convention in Sacramento. The convention organizer kept holding back on adding me to the guest list. It got to the point that it had gotten to two months before the convention date. I got annoyed because the organizer kept telling me they would include me soon. The promises started getting a thing of bullshit, because I had two documentary filmmakers give me the same shit in regards to two well known F13 documentaries and got screwed over. Anyway, that situation led to me going public with my annoyance about being strung along and in the end got me banned from even attending the convention.
Then in 2012, I think, I decided to be a part of another Bay Area convention. This time I paid for my table and was assured by the organizers in writing that they couldn't kick me out of the convention unless for a good reason, which I didn't intend on giving them. The first red flag for me was I was put on the convention website, but not with the other guest. I inquired about this and they said they put me there because I paid for my table and though actually a guest I was considered a vender. Well they actually added on an actual vender section and I wasn't moved there. For a year I was in a separate section on my own. I started to really get annoyed because I heavily promoted the convention but didn't see my name on any of the promotional material. Then on New Years Day I got an email from the organizer stating that I was kick off and banned because a certain actress named Jessica Cameron said I was a threat to both artists and the public. That fact is the only thing I did is blackball her from my podcast because unprofessionally emailed me and told me she was cancelling her interview on my podcast because I blocked the Soskas Sisters on Facebook. The truth was I had done nothing wrong and I was very professional in regards to the matter. So, I ended up reporting the convention the Better Business Bureau for violating a signed contract for bullshit reason. The convention organizer posted a bunch of unproven propaganda about me on the BBB website. Also, the one convention organizer harassed and took part in the cyber stalking of me for years after.
Amusingly I ended up getting a table at Epic Con in Ohio a couple of months later so I didn't see that other convention.
But, of course, in true Bay Area Horror fashion I got fucked over for no reasonable reason. In 2017 I attended a smaller convention as a member of the public. The convention was a gathering of Bay Area Horror hosts. I went there to hang out with my fellow horror hosts and specifically have John Stanley sign the back of my horror host skull, John, and legitize him. Like any member of the public I had fun, socialized with people, and spent hundreds of dollars on merchandise. I actually considered possibly buying a table and participating the next year, since I'm the hosting of Bloodbath Theatre. Well, that idea went in the dumpster because right after the convention I got an email from one of my known cyber stalkers saying that he and another hater contacted one of the organizers and complained about me being there even though they were actually on the other side of the country. Supposedly, he and Alan Albertson, another known cyber stalker, lied and told the organizer I tried to force copies of my books on them, which was bullshit. The only books I had were a set of Reyna Young's Monster books I bought at the convention.He even, just to rub it in, told me the organizer stated that I was actually on "probation" and he and the other members of Bay Area Horror were considering if they would "allow" me to participate in any Bay Area Horror events. After I contact the organizer and he verified what the cyber stalkers told me, including about me being judged by Bay Area Horror.
Now I have to say I'm of mixed feelings about this. I was royally hurt by this slap to my face by a community that I had thought until this disgrace was open to anyone who was a horror fan and wanted to participate. I'm royally disappointed and still angry about the hypocrisy that taints our community and fosters this us and them ideology. Conventions and events should be open and welcoming places for artists in horror. It shouldn't be marred by people acting like low life gangster that limit participation to only member of their chosen cliques.
I've lived with this kind of unprofessional bullshit since I first came back to the community and let the fans know I was in fact Eric Morse and wrote The Camp Crystal Lake novels. Since then I fought for a more open and welcoming horror community. I've dealt with a lot of hypocrisy and unprofessional behavior to downright threats and harassment that has vastly lowered my opinion of our community. I've also seen a lot of the cliques, like The Horror Socials and The Horror Drunks, lose power and disappear. I've seen positive changes as well, but far from enough because the US and them attitude still continues and I feel like a lot of horror people consider me an outsider and unwelcome to take part in this community even though in fact I've truly done nothing to deserve being treated like this. The problem is people would rather believe the lies and propaganda spread by my haters rather than actually getting to know me and see me as I truly am.
Well, I got this off my chest, but it is meaningless because the bullshit just continues. Also, I can't truly participate right now anyway because I can't do much in my present condition..Oh, well...