I'm having a bad time tonight. I finally got to listen to the final intro for Harlan's Last Dangerous Visions. It hit me hard because of my current situation.
Harlan's body turned on him and he was unable to do his art. He lost the use of his hands and his mind. I have lost my ability to read due to eye issues and I can't afford to replace my reading glasses, which are lost. Also, due to my medications my memory is faltering. Add to that that Harlan wasn't able to walk without a walker at the end and you get the idea...
Also, besides the nightmares I keep having of being at the extended care facility, I also have dreams of being at a convention with all my close friends.
Well, just to add more misery to my misery I just found out a close friend of mine is in San Francisco this weekend to guest at Fan Con. This is a triple smack of pain for me because she will be too busy to even give me a call to say hi. Also, in my present condition, both physical and financial, I couldn't attend the convention and it wouldn't matter anyway because my Bay Area Horror peers have made it perfectly clear that I'm not welcome to attend events because I'm not part of their exclusive club and am pretty much trash in their eyes...Fuck them!!!